MPR’s Lorna Benson profiles Liz Mc Elhinney and Siddiqi Ray, a lesbian couple in Minnesota who recently married in San Francisco, which began to grant marriage licenses to gay couples.
The debate over gay marriage intensified when President Bush said he supported a constitutional amendment banning same-sex unions. It was the President’s response to a ruling in Massachusetts legalizing gay marriage in that state, followed by San Francisco's decision. The issue is also brewing in at least thirty-five legislatures, including Minnesota. Critics of gay marriage are expected to introduce a bill that would place a constitutional amendment on the state's 2004 ballot.
Transcripts
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LORNA BENSON: Siddiqi Ray and Liz McElhinney were planning to have a commitment ceremony this summer in Minnesota. But then Ray's mother called her from San Francisco barely able to contain her excitement.
SIDDIQI RAY: And she was like, "Oh, my god, did you hear about what is happening in San Francisco? They're marrying gay people at the City Hall. You've got to come." And my initial response was like, what?
LORNA BENSON: Ray says she was skeptical at first because she didn't know if the marriage license would be valid. When she told her partner what was happening in San Francisco, McElhinney didn't know what to think either.
LIZ MCELHINNEY: I had to sit down and kind look at her and go, what does marriage mean? Because it's something I never thought of before because it was not anything that I could ever have. So I was like, well, let's talk about it for a little bit.
LORNA BENSON: The couple quickly decided that this was a rare window of opportunity. They rushed out to Ragstock to buy wedding clothes. Ray bought a $4 crimson dress, and McElhinney purchased a black suit. Two hours later, they were on a flight to San Francisco. When they arrived, they got in a long line that snaked outside of City Hall. Ray says it was like being on an episode of the television show Survivor, only for gay people.
SIDDIQI RAY: Because it was people forming alliances and trying to get ahead in line. And there was this underlying feeling of only some of us are going to get this privilege, and we want it Now. We're so desperate for it. There's this longing, this hunger to have this recognition legally of our love for each other.
LORNA BENSON: Ray and McElhinney said their vows agreeing to be spouses for life. They received a marriage certificate, although they're not sure if it holds much legal weight. When they got home, they decided to have a lawyer draw up a separate partnership agreement and a will just in case. Ray says she's thrilled to be married, but the growing political backlash is starting to get to her, particularly President Bush's support of a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.
SIDDIQI RAY: I've been thinking how sad I feel that who I am and what I choose in my life is in question by the government. And that the government could say who you love is not right. It's wrong, and you can't do it because that's essentially the message.
LORNA BENSON: Some of their friends have suggested that perhaps the timing isn't right for gay marriage in America. McElhinney says she's been thinking about that and has decided the timing would never be perfect.
LIZ MCELHINNEY: So if it's got to shock the system, then now or never. It's like, if it goes back into a backlash, then fine. It'll come back stronger some day later.
LORNA BENSON: Even though they're already married, McElhinney and Ray have decided to go ahead with their commitment ceremony this summer. Ray says, if society decides not to accept gay marriage, she at least wants her family to bless her union.
SIDDIQI RAY: Even my Republican grandmother that has a signed picture of Ronald Reagan in her kitchen has overcome her fear and judgment enough to realize how much she loves me and supports me. So even she's coming. But I think it's a stretch for her.
LORNA BENSON: I'm Lorna Benson, Minnesota Public Radio.