We're going to start by asking each person to tell us a little bit about yourself and you can choose what it is that you tell us about yourself, perhaps what your major interest or interests are something you're very proud of that you're doing or that you've done a worry or concern. Okay, the and rest she said, I'm Dan Thomas I go to item school at Johnson high. I'll be graduating in approximately nine days. That's probably my biggest concern right now is what I'm gonna do after graduation. I plan to go to school right now. My financial situation hasn't developed fully enough to get me through school. So I'm working on that right now right now. I do work at 3M and that's four.I know JT program that is that our school and that will be ending soon. So like I say, I'm looking for some work. That's another concern of mine. That's about all and Dan. Why don't you say yes to being on this panel? Oh because I think I was needed here. I needed to express my concerns and I think something like this was needed for a very long time and I'm glad that we did were able to get together and have this here and I hope that it works out for the best and that we do get some things covered in some action going when I don't know what to say about myself. I am a junior at Watertown High School and I do plan to go on to college. Also my problem like Dan's is I don't have money to go to college. So that's probably my main concern right now finding some way and thinking of a major. I'm not sure what I want to do after high school.But I do want to go on to further education. I don't know what to think. Why did you say yes to being on the pan I said, yes, because I think that people should know that that women are two different from Men in the in economics and and how how it starts like before even high school and how they are treated differently family to make them make them maybe not as ambitious to get a job in the future continuous going. Maybe they don't feel like they need to I think they have to be more aware of the situation that is occurring that more women have to get jobs outside of the home care. I'm Catherine Heenan and I'm a junior at nursing high school and I plan on going to and college yet. I haven't most like most everyone else. I have financial difficulty getting into college and I don't know. I have a job right now. So I am saving for college. I don't know what else why did you want to be on the panel? Well, mostly because I figure if this is going to help one person, I think it it helps a lot. I mean if it helps one person go on to college or helped one person get get further with their life's one girl my age. I think one benefit of that and I oh hi, I'm Gina and I'm from Children's Theater. So I don't know. I think my major concern in life changes every few seconds from whatever I'm concentrating on trying to support myself up here alone has been a big thing and trying to decide where my priorities lie, I think is a major concern right now because it affects such a long term me so I've been I don't know. I've been doing a lot of work with Diane at the bridge helping people to learn how to communicate better with younger people and helping them to understand that we're just as emotional or just as intellectually oriented as adults. I think people have to realize that and that's why one of the reasons I came in the panel. My name is Denise fraction. And I'm a magnet student itself. Hi, how was originally at Central? And there were school closings online with stop and right now I'm not I'm not working. I'll be working this summer up at my church. I spend a lot of time at my church. And as for the future, I'm I'm not real sure. I take each day one of the time and because I'm a Christian. I believe that you know, God well well provide a future not provide but show me ways to go and so that's that's fine. And I said yes to the panel because while my prince will ask me. No, I feel that you know, if he if he felt that I am I could do a good job. Then I must be able to stomach funny Jenny. I'm Jeanne and right now at this program called juvenile raisins, and I believing soon but I would like to go to college after I'm out of school why I want to go to college. It's because I got a little boy now who's fight almost 5 months and I need to have some kind of occasion and get a good job just for me and my baby. And why did you want to be on the panel? I wasn't exactly sure what it was, but I but I want to be in and hear what you know, people are saying about What's up? I don't I don't know how to explain this. You wanted to be a part of the conference. Yeah, and you're just use the point of view from each people when I talked to some of you yesterday and some of you today. I was very struck by your work experience. Do you work? How many hours a week? Do you work? And what's the best thing about work? What's the worst thing about work? And have you learned anything from work now? That's a lot of questions. Okay. Do you wear yes, I do and how many hours a week? I work 20 hours a week at 3M Company as an oddity. Like I said before you want to say within an older to use a program is developed within the high school and all day. T means on-the-job training supposedly. Well, it's supposed to help you get into a career that you are interested in evidently are all day tearing deals with clerical work and that is not what I want to get into. So I find myself stuck in this clerical field and learning these different types of things that I really don't want to do. And so I really can't say that it has really been helpful to me. Well, I have a job. I'm a waitress at a small Cafe nursing class and I work proximately 15 to 20 hours a week also and One thing I learned from working there is how to get along with people not only people my age but Pete older people grandparents and grownups and it was a very I feel that it's a very rewarding experience to be able to work a lot of people believe that you shouldn't work when you're in high school because you're going to have to work all through the rest of your life after you're out of college. But as far as I'm concerned this helped me a lot to know exactly what is what's involved in a job. I think I'd be more scared when I just get out of college going to job thinking boy. What am I going to do? I mean, what do you do at a job nobody if you didn't really know and I have a general idea. I mean a waitress in a big job anything, but I think that helped me really a lot working there. Somebody else went to like since I've got a unique experience. I have to support myself and pay my own rent and buy my own whatever and so I guess it's a little different. I work as many hours as I can and however often I've got a friend that owns a Pottery Shop and I work with him making pottery and that I guess it's different also because I go to school for profession and it's we work for hours a day on my profession and what I'm chosen to do with my life. And so I guess I don't I don't understand how people can't not can't experience working or some sort of professional ISM before they're out of high school when they get out of high school and they're floundering around and they don't really have a real concept of what the world is Jenny. You're naughty. Did you want to say something about that? You have a child. Are you also working? All right. Now, are you have you done anything in school to prepare for work? Not really just typing in finding Denise. I'm not working right now. I've I would look for a job all year, but I had to admit I wasn't looking real hard a couple years ago and it's funny. She said alright nice is only $15 a week. And it's this is your money and I can give you any more you do with it what you can and when it's out don't come to it. Well, I spend like Andy, you know the first yeah year, you're not you know just candy but just from that I've learned a lot about my money situation and how you have to really save from you know, the beginning. And when I do get a job as I worked, you know the past two summers also at my church and I've saved from that because you can't you can't just spend your money. You can't work and spend them. That's for me. It felt so good knowing that when I bought something this with my own money, you know, listen something for my mother and my allowance - that's my mother's, you know, turn my mother but but it's given to me and something that I it's mine and it's not I don't know. I just I feel it's important to be able to earn your own money and be able to handle it the same time people get jobs and that's good. But if you can't handle your money, if you don't know how you know, what's what's since she was like you're dying to say I just wanted to make another statement. Um, like I say, I'm on the old JT program and it seems to me like our teacher our advocate for this program believes that the woman should work clerical jobs and the men will be working all the technical Fields. I mean, he said this need to my face, you know, and I just like I don't agree with that at all what for what I want to get into as nothing to do with typing and One thing I've learned from my job. I work at the nursing home in my town and I've learned that there are a lot of people there that I think would want to do something else. Like a lot of the nurses aides would want to become nurses or doctors and they just they settle for having that job. And I one thing I've learned is I don't want to settle for anything less that than what I can do. You know, why should I settle for you know being a nurse's aide when I want to be a doctor or I mean I don't but you know are something like that and I just see a lot of people, you know, like could go farther, you know and could expand on what they're doing and and they don't and that kind of makes me maybe want to do something more because I see all these people that should be doing things that they want and they're just sitting there not doing anything. I mean they're doing something but you know, they're not doing what they really want. When what why don't we talk about that for a minute? What is it when Look ahead to the Future that you would like to be doing. Yeah. I would like to be in I'd like to be a designer interior and fashion designer. That's what I'd like to do. That's why I'd like to be training for as hard to get into that field because people are always saying well you need training. Well, where am I going to beat the train is no one gives me a chance to train as my problem right now. So that's what I'd like to be doing. I have learned a lot working in an office. I've learned a lot about the corporate world and how people function on a business basis and that's really very interesting how people can be, you know from nine to five and then after five, you know, very interesting. And I think that's a big problem. You know what I think it's like for instance. I want to go into accounting and we have you know, accounting courses at my school, but they that's not good enough for some Jasmine. I think they want more than a high school class. They want on-the-job experience. They want you know what it's very hard for you to get a chance at self. They have a mentorship program and that's that's good. That's where you can you know, I think you're right knows where you can go and and work in the field you would like to to working and I think that will help when I get out of high school when I get high school one, you know job before I went to college but if you know, I didn't have that and I think this last school so don't have that. You know, it's kind of hard to get a job a good job. I mean when I should say that a job that I would want to prepare myself for ginni wood that you what do you think of when you think of Out what you'd like to do. Well, what I like to do is someday become you know, social worker and I know that would take long time to get there, but I know making and I don't know. I just never had job. So I just I just don't know anything about it. I think that's the most important thing just to say I'm gonna do it, you know because especially in in theater, which I'm trying to get into that's where you have to say. I'm going to do it and I don't care what barriers stand in my way because there are going to be hundreds of thousands of barriers, you know, 80% of the people and going into the field. I'm choosing are out of work. And so I have to make to make choices now that are going to make make my odds greater in my favor and it's really frightening, but I guess just saying I'm gonna do it and I'm going to be good at it and I don't care what gets in my way because I'm going to be me. And also I think you have to start out thinking past, you know, there's so many things that can discourage you and if you stop and say and quit every time you fall, you know, you can't get anywhere, you know, sometimes you have to pick yourself up and say no come on Denise. We're gonna do it. Anyways, you know, right so I had a little problem here, but you know, you can't you're not going to get anywhere if you use quit every time somebody says, you're not good enough for no, I'm sorry, you know, you don't have the qualifications. You can't you can't let those things stop you if somebody says no, you aren't right. Then I'll go with somebody else or you know, I just keep trying to say yes. I am right and let me show you why you know, yeah, what would you like to do? Well, I haven't really made that decision, but I plan on maybe going into physical therapy or psychology somewhere off Branch off of that. Maybe I haven't I haven't really had any experience in graphics. And in working with that, but I have excuse me. I have had offers from I got in touch with this lady who's a physical therapist and I had offers from her to go and work with her go to her work with her and she would take me to different places and stuff and show exactly what they do at work. How did you get to do that? How did you how did you know to contact her a friend of my mom's friend Frank for Inferno and I just called her up and asked her about it. And she said sure she could she would help me anyway possible. She could help. I don't know what I'm going to do it where I am. Now. I live in a small rural community and there is no opportunity to really see the different types of jobs. I mean, I you know those lot of jobs available and a lot of areas you can go into but when you don't know anything about anyone it's kind of hard to make it a career choice about what you're going to do for the rest of your life or whatever. So, I don't know I would like to be able to like Carol, you know, she's gonna try to see you know, what if that would be the right feel for her. I would like the opportunity to see different fields and you know from there make my choice because I don't have any idea not counting Gina with because it's a special case. You'll see what I mean in a minute. Is there somebody that you talk to about these these job decisions these career decisions. Oh, yeah, Jeannie like, you know were delivered is Treatment program self know. I have a lot of opportunity to talk to them about it. And besides that I have friends out of there, you know, I could talk to you. Me most is my friends are were all in the same situation, you know where we don't all want to do the same thing. So we all have the same problems. And so it's it's easier because we can look we can learn from each other and when I see my friend made a mistake here, I'll say okay, maybe I won't try that or or maybe I will try that, you know in a different way and also my mother, you know, she was real supportive of me. Sometimes it's only she's supportive only when I do what she wants me to be there to support me and she tries, you know, I think upon my head from others that she'll say. Well, I've already been through it. So I don't I don't want to see my dog going to that. But sometimes you have to go through it yourself to really to really understand but I think my friends are not That's the first time that a parent has been mentioned, which interest me when we saw earlier this morning that about the different kinds of expectations their parents have for their children. Do you feel what are what do you think your parents expectations are for you and you think that your mothers and fathers have the same expectations for you? Well, I come from a one parent household and I think my mother doesn't put too many expectations on and I'm glad because if I don't come through then she's mad she does expect me just from from what the way I handled things now business school and whatnot. She does expect me to be successful in it and whatever I want to do and she would back me up 200% careful, brother. Yes, I do Jake. Are her expectations the same for the two? No, no, they're not at all. My brother is experiencing difficulties right now as I mustn't years or whatever he's going through what a lot of teenagers go through and she doesn't expect anything out of him at all except for him to maybe just turn around and see the light and things and that's about it. Alright forget to hire for you. Right? Right. They vary in our family for each individual. I not quite sure what my parents expected me. I think my mother expects me to go to college. I'm not real sure what my dad expects me and I don't know. I think my mom, you know, my mom is always I always confided my mom and ask her even though she hasn't gone to college. She encourages me to go so I can get a better job and what she has and so I think probably my mom is more supportive probably because I talked to my mom or and so I know what she thinks more than what my dad would I think my mom, you know, my mom does want me to go farther than she did and I think my dad wants to me to go farther than what he did and your brother. Yeah, I do are their expectations the same for the two of you. I don't know. It's hard to say. Well my older brother, I think. Quite a bit was expected of him. Yes to be successful, which I think you know, he will be but I'm not quite sure for my younger brother. I'm He's way younger. So there's are different types to um. That's that's can you repeat the question? What I was asking was what you thought your parents expectations were of you. Okay, I can't really say. I can't really see my parents have really high expectations. I mean sure they want me to do what I want to do that's expected for my repair and I'm sure it is, but I know that I know I don't that's really hard. I know that. I know they don't expect me to be some bomb in the street how many parents want their kids to do that but it's they they know my feelings toward College they know already and if they support me, that's great, which I'm sure they will but if they didn't it wouldn't stop me from going to college and my mom really helps. I think my mom is the person I talked to most about going to college and what I would like to do when she helps me a lot like she helped me get in touch with this lady and I think It's hard to say if it how high their expectations are. I haven't really talked to him about it. Huh? So tired Gina. Well I come from a single-parent home. And like I said before making my mother's expectations are just simply for me to be happy for myself and to be good to myself because I guess she gets mad at me when I start being self-destructive and she can see that and even from living, you know, 600 miles away or whatever. It is 300 miles. She can still tell if I talk to her if I'm being good to myself and just just to be healthy and take care of myself. What does she think of as being good to yourself? I guess allowing myself to feel what I'm feeling and not trying to hide my feelings such as if I'm angry than allowing myself to be angry and get that out and release my emotions instead of trying to stifle them and make myself sick. Do you have a brother? Um, no, I have a sister younger sister and I guess it is different. The two of us are very different people and my sisters much more typical or whatever and so my mother doesn't isn't quite as interested or curious about my sister and just allowing her to grow up and be what she wants to what about you Denise. Well, my father when I was you know, younger he was always the main the he was the breadwinner of the family my mom she had a job, but it was, you know, just it wasn't, you know, she wasn't the main support the family and he passed away when I was in fifth grade. So that made my mother now the The Breadwinner in the family And she's you know until this day has had problems because she didn't graduate from college. And so she hasn't really, you know, she doesn't have the opportunity to have real high paying jobs. And so she's very strong and everything she does and she always tells me Denise. All you can do is your best, you know, and and it's true. I can't you know, I I feel like I'm feeling if I'm not doing my best and and if I do my best and it's not as good as other people, that's all right, because that's the best I can do, you know, and that's that's what she tells me doing it. That's what she that's what she wants me to him. I like you know, she helps me tell to decide what I want to do, but she doesn't make my decisions for me to Progressive. I have two older sisters and Cheney. I don't really know what to say because my mom hasn't been involved in. You know my life for over a year now. but did you have a sense of what she was expecting of you? Aye. I knew that you know, she wanted me to go to college but I really don't know, you know one one thing that we haven't talked about it all is getting married and having children. I do you want to get married? How do you do? I was brought up to be very independent maybe even two independent and um, I I don't I just don't want to get married. I will live with somebody and love somebody and it will be just like getting married but I won't pay for no papers and pay for a divorce when it comes around you're dating you're anticipating the end of the relationship. Oh, yeah. Yeah, hopefully someday I will get married. I want to go through college and have a career before I do have a family and so I can get established in a career. So when the time comes around when I have to work again, I will be able to hopefully go back to their career and let me stop you saying what what I'm trying to get a timeline that you're saying that you you want to go to college you want to have a career and then then you would get It and have children and stop working. Is that right? No, I well I'd probably stopped him to the children. But I heard one minutes. Well, I don't want to totally discontinued working, you know, and to have my family. I am not quite sure because I don't know what my economic point, you know, if my husband will be up to support me while I take off until my kids are in kindergarten or whatever. So I don't mean your ideal scenario. You would not work until the children were in kindergarten and then you would return to the lake my idea. Oh, yeah, right, right. Is that what you expect to happen? No, I expect to be working for all. The rest of my life I guess and and fit the children in somehow some how about you? Um before I get married, I feel that I have to be able to support myself before I can be have somebody else support me. I've had I've been living with my family on my life and they supported me in everything I've done and I feel that I'm a very independent person and I have to know what it's like to support myself before I can go on and marry somebody maybe he might not be able to support the family and then I feel that I feel that I would be pleased if I could if I helped out and I could support even though he couldn't I mean I wouldn't find it wrong is if I had the job as my husband was a home maker. I mean, I'm inside it wrong and all that way. Do you see yourself on that timeline? Let's try the timeline again. Okay attend college and then get my degree and get a job and then I would say I would get married. Yeah, if I want to represent Mary and then if I had children, I don't know if I'm going to have children. I fired you're not sure about whether you want to say. Yeah, that's correct. If I had children I would I would most definitely take off work. I would have to I can't find myself. Somebody else taking care of my kid. It's my kid. I feel that I would take care of him and I would then after King under so probably try and return to work. well, it all depends I get into the college's I want my ideal college that I really like to go to his you for theater and then after that work and theater and I think that anybody who I would be interested in would have to fit in with me traveling around a lot and going to wherever I need to go to work and then I'll be you know in Hong Kong and wherever and so I don't know if if our relationship were to develop I think we teach be to we'd be two people who cared about each other and that would be the strongest thing and if we got married or had children that would be worked through our careers and explain that um, well, I'm not sure how it would work out except that I think that we'd have home base or whatever for the two of us where we could come and be together and then wherever we needed to go to work or if one of us were in a company or something then we each go our separate ways for a while and what I've been thinking about a lot is that I don't want to have children until I'm at least in my 30s mid 30s, probably and then I was I've been thinking a lot about adopting an older child, maybe seven or eight where Those are the people who need a home, you know that the orphans that are orphaned at seven or eight or older that they really need families and I think that I could deal with not raising a baby but helping an adolescent go through that and it would I think it would help our community better more and would you work and do that also? Yeah. Definitely. I think I have I my career is going to be probably one of the most important things in my life career and my relationships but they'll intertwine to knees well for me. I guess I never really made a timeline of my life. I'm you know, I decide I would like to you know be married. I would like to have your please I should say at least about three kids and I'd like to graduate from college. Well, is it in that order? No, I know but um Sometimes I'm afraid to plan my life out so much that this has happened now and now has come husband because maybe the husband is not going to come yet. You know, I'll be waiting around. I have to let things that's let things come when they do it because they don't work off of it I want and I'm going to start to go worried. So I kind of I I just trust that things are gonna work out. We won. If not, well, we just don't they I should say we don't think about that, but that's that they're even goes with, you know, God and I trust it. He will help things work out. Do you think of working and having children? I think I would like to to be as you know, had my career established before I have children, you know, probably a couple years, but if that's not the way it works out then you'll juggle it right Jimmy. You said something to me yesterday rather bitterly about daycare. Do you want to repeat that because I think it has to do a great deal with what your sense of your future is. Yeah. Just not having enough daycares for babies for you know, it's like six weeks or little older because there's more I see more daycares that are open for older kids for like three or four, you know, and but not infants and I just want to see more of those daycares being opened. And what about now your future work marriage children are like having more daycares around where the building you're working it instead of, you know having to take your baby out way to Crosstown on the bus to drop your baby off and then go all the way back to other town, you know. It's gonna be pretty hard. Do you see yourself as getting married and working and having more try? I don't think so. Tell us about it. Well, I have baby now and right now for me that's more than enough. And I don't want to have a husband around to you know, tell me what to do. And yeah, sometimes you know, I feel like if I have a husband around I'd be raising another baby a very responsive chord in the audience. Do you ever we're gonna add a couple more questions and then allow these people who have really been waiting to ask you some things. Do you ever feel that adults are trying to protect you too much. I heard a lot of it Independence. Okay. I don't want to get married because I want independence. I want to get married because I'm independent. And I don't want to have two dependents instead of one. Do you feel that adults are being protective of you in a helpful way or do you sometimes feel that adults are being overprotective and stopping you from taking some of the chances or reaching out for some of your dreams? I'd like to say something because that's going on in our school a lot and maybe I shouldn't even talk about that. But I feel that during adolescence. There are times when people there each people there talk today. Each person has to be considered individually because I know the things that are going on at my school people are not being considered individually. It's a number, you know, and it it really bugs me because there are relationships that are healthy between adolescents and adults there that are healthy and then there are some that are abusive but it has to be considered individually and I find myself becoming resentful towards the people who are poor babying me because I'm out on my own because I've done all this other and I get to feel sorry for myself getting hiding in a corner going like this because everybody's telling me Oh, you're only 16 boy baby. Oh you to take care of yourself on it and it Just me crazy because I feed into it too. Of course. I want to have somebody feel sorry for me and and take care of me because it's just a natural reaction and we have to allow people to be human and that an adolescent is not going to break. You know, we're not going to break. We don't think you're as fragile as people think you're not nearly and I think that people have to realize that and of course I need I have to know when to ask for help and I have to know when to say God I can't take this anymore get away from me help me or you know, whatever. I need to think that's going to be from me. I wasn't because of how I feel that's a good point. Adolescence aren't gonna break. That's very true. I feel that my parents if my parents were overprotective. I'm not saying they are but if they were it would be hard for me to go out and get a job. It would be hard because I friends that their parents are very much very very overprotective of their children. I mean someone's good. Yes, but it's it's really hard. How how are they going to cope when they when they go off to college by their self if they do housing and cope when they're getting get married or maybe they aren't going to get married how they gonna cope it. It's too much for one person to handle all in one time to I believe it has to gradually go on. I mean get lesser and lesser as you get older. I agree with that like a quote on it. Also, that's one thing I noticed in my high school right now today is a lot of the kids are getting Baby by their parents. I mean, they're just really overprotective in a car at 16. I'll pay for your insurance. Oh and all this other stuff and I see a lot. I'm sure that not too much of it goes out of all people here, but there is a lot of that and I wonder it makes I wonder sometimes how people are going to deal with all these kids are going to deal with the day graduation comes up. You know, I mean, it's gonna be like a slap in the face their friends are gone. Their parents are no gonna be paying for their cars anymore and they're not going to be getting baby. You know, they got it. They got to learn how to live and they got to learn a survive because there's to survive, you know, I see the only way to learn how to survive is if that parent what's up slowly and gradually on that protectiveness as the child gets older and and then you it won't be as hard. Yeah, I myself. My mom has brought me up that day. She's our that way. She was really protective. You know, why do I remember things slowly and gradually she let up on her protectiveness over me and I've learned on my own how to deal with things and how to survive and here I am, you know, I feel great. I'm getting ready to graduate a lot of kids right now our food my God. What am I gonna do, you know? My friends would be gone and I'm not worried about it. I'm not at all. I'm Richard to deal with what's coming up next that's really true because I my brother just graduated last year and all through the summer. He had no idea what he was going to do. He had no plans going to college. He had no plans to get a job. He had nothing. He did nothing he worked at my father's restaurant. That's all he did and it was come back to when we went back to school. He had nothing to do ever. He didn't know what to do with his life and time until finally he went in to Marines. But I mean that wasn't he did that on the spur of the moment. He did it. He was gone within two weeks and that's really hard for someone to handle my brother. It was really hard for my brother. I know it was For me, I think my mom. I'm the youngest and I think just last year my my next little sister. She graduated. I think my mom and also hit me like, oh my gosh. Oh, that's my baby. I really have to hold on to hurry. I'm still watching me go to my bus stop. It bothers me sometimes and I can't breathe sometimes because they would I know that it's because she cares about me and I should just be thankful for that that she is really caring about me. Sometimes like to say Mom. I understand that your intentions are good, but I need to know you lived your life and I need to live mine, you know within boundaries. I know II can understand if I were going to go out and who knows wife, but I think that that she needs to let me breathe a little bit more and I know it's hard, you know, I think we both have to give in a little bit. We just didn't you to join system. I disagree with I know you were nodding we decided that people who wanted to would answer one last question. This is the the only one that's prepared, which is that there are a lot of people out here in the room who are very concerned about the well-being of young Men, and obviously a very articulate and thoughtful group of young women. If there would be one message that you would like to give these people about how they can be helpful to young women as they're growing up. What would you want to say to them? Notice the prepared questions anybody. I think Kara just gonna say I don't think there's just one thing a person can do there's a lot of things and you can't I can't just pinpoint one thing. I would if I were to start saying I would there's a lot of things and I can't really exactly say what they are. I'm sorry. I know that probably didn't help very much. I think that really want to communicate that immediately you tend to put people in categories and you See situations see the symptoms or whatever and put them in a category and then deal with it on that level. But what you need to do is listen to The Vibes listen to what's going on inside and listen to the undertones because that's going to be much more important than doing the classroom responses. And I think that's one thing we've been working with with counselors at the bridge is not to assume not to let your professionalism get right up there and communicate on that level but let it come into you and let it come from your heart and that's going to be more more helpful for each person that you doing with one going good. I just find the same thing. Um, I guess what there is a big thing for me. There is grown-ups to talk to is a problem for me. I have three counselors at school. We have three counselors at our school. I don't ever talk to him. I mean there it's really strange. He hasn't helped me one bit. I mean that's hard for me because I hear other people how much your counselors help them. My I'm sure probably didn't even know my name, you know, and that's really hard people have to I feel like grown-ups have to learn to listen to me who I am, you know, like she was saying I'm different from the next person next to me very much. So And I feel like sometimes grown-ups. Don't really give me a chance to express what I'm feeling. You know, they just say maybe sometimes they just say She hasn't she's not as old as we I wish you hadn't had all the experiences that we had names. She doesn't know and that's not true. Maybe I have had to experience them. Some of you have had I know that's hard. It's really hard when people don't listen to what I had to say. And also I think sometimes what's easiest for me. It's when I'm talking to somebody it's easy when they they're on my level, you know, when and the real real real real with me and maybe it's just me, but I can spot people who say they care but they really don't you know, and who just who, you know sold to need new. So tell me what your problems are and you start talking to her if you want to clam up and not talk to anybody and also, you know, when you ask a personal question and they say this is the way it is that's hard to I mean I just when I come to somebody for support, I want them to help me not Have to do but just give me advice, you know, because that that's what that's what really helps me. So just like to say just to really listen to what they're saying, you know, listen to what we're saying stay and and be supportive and when we fall don't don't what what could help him get right? Right. Don't don't put them down or don't put us down. But but encouraged us and that you know, and just keep the song one message. I think is very pertinent is see how I can put this here. I think people should recognize us as their equals people look at adolescence as someone inferior to them because maybe they're younger and they haven't been through all the things an adult has been through so many people recognize us as their inferiors and then that just brings them to expect us to fall maybe you know, and to expect us to fail here and there and not do good and whatnot. I think we they need to understand us and they need to recognize us is people to you know, not just teenagers or adolescents. You know, how the younger kids of the generation we haven't be very strong are forced to be strong because of the way the world is today, you know, I know I'm strong but I think people need to recognize as more as being people equal to the to you maybe not so much in experience or are as not so much as being around longer but this that we are people too. And another thing is Personally for me. I feel like I need more time to myself. I happen to feel I'm so cluttered up with doing things, you know looking for jobs going to school and whatnot. I have no time for myself, you know, and and that's important. I think people need to take time out for themselves get their thoughts gathered and you know what they want to do in life and stuff and there's so many things that I'm involved in right now. It's just, you know, I need time, you know for myself my thing everyone especially people our age to take time for themselves and get their thoughts together. And so what they want to do in life what they want to accomplish and what not. That's pretty much it. I guess I agree with everybody else on how I think that we should be looked as at as individuals not as a large group of adolescence and I found that saw just by talking to Diane because I thought she looked at us at me as maybe not her equal but I mean she took me on an equal basis with you know, that my input was as important as anybody else's I think that's important. Questions questions about where you get information, dude, do you get your information about your reproductive lives from your home? If so, whether that was from both mother and father is meet you so much sex From the time I was very young. I was her only console and so she would tell me everything. I mean at the first time I asked where babies came from she sat down and Drew me pictures and you know, I was five years old. I didn't really understand everything but it gave me a grasp of what what to look at when it finally came around to you know, and school they teach you and my mother would tell me how much I cost constantly about what's going on in the world and she she wanted me to because when she had her first time I'm having sex. She didn't know what she was doing. She didn't know that that's what she was doing and she thought she had she could become pregnant by kissing and so This wasn't going to be harmful or whatever and she just didn't have any idea when she was carrying me. She didn't know how I was going to get out. And so she was always very open and trying to let me know everything about what was going on, and it's helped me a lot. healthy I think I learned a lot about it through my family my immediate family, but I also learned a lot more through my friends to people I talk to and I trust more so than my peers. Let me my parent will tell me only so much, you know, I mean how you're born and and what sex is but when you talk to another person who's on your same level, you know, maybe even same age you can you get a more. Yeah, it's more and more emotional. It's more. Um, It's more real it's not like the teacher and the student, you know, any write down this and you tell him that you know, that's her an open discussion. I think I've 5 must say that I learned about that through people that I deal with friends and whatnot. When you said emotional did you mean that when you talk to adults even a mother too close to feelings are left out of the discussion. Well, it never was for me. I guess my mother taught me about relationships because she had such a hard time with him, but I've seen people who just come out. The picture book kind of aspect of it real we know that if you're making love with someone it's going to be emotional and it's going to be something that your whole being is involved with not just your body. It's not so Technical and then one thing she always stressed is that if I make the choice to lose my virginity then I'm going to have to deal with that emotionally and this is going to be a big part of my life then.